Sucker Punched.

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. -Proverbs 14:30

A friend posted this as their status the other day, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. 

"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh..." I loved that first part. It reminded me of Leonard Sweet's The Jesus Prescription for a Healthy Life. In it, he writes about how current stress levels/the modern pace are extremely detrimental to the pursuit of a healthy life. So if that's a problem, isn't this the solution? Isn't tranquility the opposite of stress? To be at peace? To be content in one's current place? Of course. It only makes sense that life would come from that. I made note to work on it. 

Then I continued on... 

"...but envy makes the bones rot." Okay, so that hit home too. I am envious; but if I'm being honest, I knew that already. I am, on way too many occasions, envious of a set of expectations. Jealous of what I thought my life would be. But to have that jealousy lead to rotten bones, I wasn't prepared for that. It made so much sense to me, though, I immediately felt that "sucker-punch" to the gut. I knew it was true. So I've been thinking about it for the last couple days. 

Tonight as I was thinking about writing a new post, this was the topic that came to mind again. I wanted to see what some other versions of Scripture said, and this is what I found:

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body;
      jealousy is like cancer in the bones. (NLT)

A sound mind makes for a robust body,
   but runaway emotions corrode the bones. (The Message)

A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones. (Amplified Version)

I recently was described as someone who "wanted to be a permanent fixture somewhere." They were completely accurate. I wanted to be in one place, in my own space, carving out a rut of a life for myself. I like ruts; they are predictable and safe. Instead, I've been the nomad, traveling from state to state, working different jobs, spending time with different people. Not exactly my comfort zone, and, of course, that's the point. Perhaps this unexpected life was to keep me from relying only on myself, to keep me from creating a situation that doesn't need any Help, and just maybe, to keep me from a life that's all about me. There are things I'd probably have chosen to do differently, those things that I've wasted way too much time thinking about-- but again, those things would be all about me.

And life is not all about me.

It's about a Kingdom. It's about a purpose. The dreams and goals are good, yes. But I'm pretty sure there can be a greater good achieved, by me not always getting what I want, at the time I want it. 

So I'm trying. My goal with each step of these next seventeen months will be a tranquil heart and a calm and undisturbed mind. I know it's possible, because, as Dr. Rutland said, "Life with all its irregularities is not to be feared, as some do and call it faith, and it is not to be stoically endured, as some do and call it submission. Life is to be lived, mountain peak and valley alike, in the joyful knowledge that an unfettered God is God OF all and IN all you experience."